complexguy | ★ but I'm going to be okay as long as you're beside me along the way

Reaching out, she cradles his face in her hands so tenderly.

"You coming home to me is all I can think about when I know you have to go out into the jungle. I'm glad I give you a reason to care."

It seems fair, since he's given her a reason to love.

"I know you meant it. And I mean it when I say I don't know what I would do without you."

Just as Juliet predicted, the monsoon season does roll in about one week later. Other than coming home some days completely soaked, nothing about their life changes until a few weeks later. He's out in the North Valley with Jin, and they get caught up in a mudslide that separates them. James is far from the jeep, disoriented, and Jin quickly realizes that with darkness setting in, he has no hope of finding his friend right now. Managing to get the jeep unstuck, he drives back to the barracks, and by now it's nearly midnight and he almost can't bear to look Juliet in the eyes when he tells her he had to leave Jim behind. His plan was to go back with more help at daybreak, trying to assure her that he won't give up on him.

James, meanwhile, is damn determined to get back to his girl. He promised her that he would always come home safe, and he will. Other than a few scrapes here and there, he's relatively unscathed, he just has no supplies whatsoever and he's trying to navigate in the dark. But he knows the island well by now, he hopes, and he gains some ground until it's just too unsafe to keep moving without being able to see, so he hunkers down for the night in a small cave.

Once dawn hits, he's on the move again, taking advantage of the calm morning air until the rain rolls in again in early afternoon. It doesn't let up at all, but he won't stop walking. He doesn't realize it, of course, but it was smart that he got far away from the valley while he could, because by the time Jin goes back with a large group, the area is completely flooded, both with water and debris. He would have drowned, or worse.

He keeps walking and walking through the day, only stopping if the ground seems too unstable. And then finally, around three in the morning the following day, he comes stumbling into their house, sloshing water everywhere.

"Juliet," he calls out hoarsely.

Juliet has been awake as long as James has been gone. She knew this would happen; she knew that sooner or later, the good that she had would just slip through her fingers because it always does, every time she gets a piece of it. She's terrified for him, and as soon as she can talk Horace into it, she's out with a gun looking with the rest of them. In the valley, when she sees how flooded it is, her stomach drops and Jin has to hold onto her shoulders for a second while she bends over, hands on her knees, trying not to vomit.

Miles is the one who promises James can't be dead because he can't pick up on him, and it's what makes her keep going. When the sun sets she wants to stay, but as it is, she can barely speak anymore, her throat raw from screaming out for James over the pouring rain. She's awake, the lights on in their house because she can't stop pacing, Miles and Jin both sitting on the couch pretty much staring at her until she tells them to go get some sleep.

At three in the morning, she's sitting in his chair holding a now cold mug of tea, staring vacantly at the wall in front of her, trying to figure out how much she needs to save to get off of this fucking island that keeps taking from her. After James, she'd have nothing left to give. But when the door opens and he stumbles into the house, she drops the mug, not caring that it shatters and tea goes everywhere. And she doesn't care that he is literally covered head to toe in mud. She springs out of the chair and goes to him immediately.

"Oh, God, come here," she croaks out, her voice barely a hoarse whisper as she leads him to the bathroom, mud and water going everywhere, but she can hardly care. She needs to get him warm; he's been out in the monsoon for too long. She starts a bath and then, before she can do anything else, she wraps her arms tightly around him, mud and all, she doesn't care. She clings, and when she knows she can speak without crying, she whispers, though it's raspy and thin.

"You kept your promise."

He's exhausted down to his bones, but he's so damn happy to be home, to know he didn't have to break this promise. "Told ya," he croaks out with a soft smile, clinging to her as tightly as he possibly can, practically lifting her off the ground.

She loves him more than she can say right now, and by the time they part, she's so filthy that she just strips them both down and gets in with him.

There are so many thoughts going through her mind that she decides not to speak at all while she very tenderly and with so much love begins to wash him. She's checking for injuries while she's at it, but as the water begins to run clear and there are no injuries that require more than just this shower to clean them, it hits her that he's here with her and perfect if not tired and hungry as hell.

He knows what she thought, so she doesn't tell him. Instead, she looks up as she rinses him off tenderly, holding his gaze.

"I love you, James."

It feels important to say, the real emotion of it brewing in her eyes. The fact that she's decided he needs her to take care of him means that she's carefully calm. No one else would likely know that she's a breath away from crying in sheer relief. No one but him.

James does know how close she is to breaking, and he knows how hard these last two days must have been for her. It hurts down to his soul to know how scared she was, but he's here now and he'll never leave her.

"I love you, Juliet," he breathes out, watching her eyes carefully, needing her to see the love in his own. "I'm never gonna leave you."

"I know," she says, wincing because her throat is simply raw. But she does know now that he'll do anything he can to get back to her.

"I know you won't," she says quietly, clinging to him. "We need to sleep. You need something in your stomach first. PB and J?"

Before she can make it to the kitchen, the phone rings, and it's so late that she knows it must be Horace, and she knows why. Answering, she's quiet, but her side of the conversation doesn't leave much to the imagination.

"No, I don't need it." A pause. "He's home, Horace. He came home about half an hour ago, he's fine."

Juliet looks at James the next time she speaks. "Don't worry about the sub schedule." Then, she turns to finish the conversation, hanging up before going into the kitchen.

Edited 2019-10-15 22:51 (UTC)

He nods faintly, sitting down on the couch for now while he waits. He's stiff and sore, not sure how much he can even move again right now. But then he hears Juliet speaking to Horace, and his heart aches all over again for her.

She was ready to leave, she couldn't be here anymore.

He's not sure he could have done the same. If anything happened to her, he wouldn't be able to leave without knowing what happened, or where she was. He'd have to keep looking. But maybe for Juliet, it couldn't go that way. Quiet as he just watches her, he waits until she comes back with a sandwich, but he doesn't eat.

"You were gonna leave?"

She sits beside him, looking almost ashamed of herself, not able to meet his gaze.

"If we didn't find you alive. If you couldn't come home to me."

She only stayed for him. She's on this island, still, because she loves the man beside her.

"Every piece of happiness I have now is because of you. I wouldn't have gone until I knew."

If that helps.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to worry like that, baby," he breathes out softly, covering her hand tenderly.

He can't imagine what she went through, and he moves to lace his fingers with hers now. Hearing everything she's said just cuts him to the core, and he hates that she had to be afraid at all, even for a moment.

Juliet closes her eyes and squeezes his hand tightly.

"I know that was an extreme reaction," she apologizes, suddenly afraid that he might think she would leave for a reason other than not being able to bear being on the island without him.

"Please--please tell me that you know I wouldn't just leave if I didn't what happened to you."

He looks over at her, squeezing her hand so tightly and kissing her forehead. "I know it, Juliet."

For a moment, he wasn't sure; would she leave if he'd just never come home, if he'd just been out there? If he'd made it home a few weeks from now, would she have already been gone? But he believes her, and he kisses her lips softly now.

Her throat still hurts, and after they kiss, she takes a sip of water, wincing a little.

"Eat, baby, so we can go to bed," she urges, squeezing his hand one more time and then letting him go.

He does feel hungry, but he only gets halfway through his sandwich before he's just exhausted and he can't eat anymore. Setting his plate aside, he yawns and kisses her shoulder before getting up and heading to the bedroom. Stripping down, he curls up close to her pillow, waiting for her to join him.

Juliet takes off everything as well, and almost as soon as she's whispered she loves him, she's asleep, sleeping so hard and deep that she never even moves.

At some point she stumbles out of bed to pee, but then she's back and sprawled on top of him, hair crazily spread across his face and chest as she sleeps deeply again.

James is so damn exhausted, too, and he doesn't move at all. When Juliet crawls back into bed with him, he's still deeply asleep, even snoring softly, but his body curves around hers instinctively.

When Juliet finally wakes up, she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, blinking open her eyes.

Waking up to him is the most incredible feeling in the world.

Reaching out, her fingers lightly trace his face, and then her hand presses to his chest, resting over his heart as she closes her eyes and just feels. He's alive and with her, and God she had no idea she could love another person this much.

At some point, he starts to rouse a little, grunting softly at first, but then smiling sleepily when he realizes where he is, and who's laying on top of him. "Hey, sweetheart..."

Juliet smiles softly and opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out save for a rasp. No voice, then, and so she nuzzles the side of his nose with her own. She can whisper, so that's what she goes with.

"Spent a long time yelling your name."

It sounds like it hurts, even though it doesn't.

As his eyes open, he reaches out now to stroke her cheek tenderly, worried eyes focused on her. "Never wanted to put you through that, baby."

"I know. But you're home. All that matters."

Her fingers lightly move over his face again, finding a tiny, tiny scratch and dragging her thumb over it slowly.

"I was so worried about you. We got to the valley and it was flooded out," she rasps.

"And you didn't think I'd come back?" he asks softly, reaching out to rake his fingers through her hair tenderly.

"I thought the island did what it's always done best to me," she admits.

"It isn't that I gave up on you. It's just...this place, James," Juliet tries to explain feebly, tears blurring her vision as she glances away.

"Screw this damn place." He pulls her a little closer, swiping his thumb across her cheek to brush away the tears. "What we got, it's stronger than anything else."

She swallows hard, and when she looks at him, her trust in him is palpable. She believes him.

"It's you and me, James. Here. Anywhere else."

Juliet presses her forehead to his. "I love you."

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