★ but I'm going to be okay as long as you're beside me along the way

[complexguy]

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[complexguy]

"Let's see, we got..." He looks through the fridge, then the cabinet, sizing up what he's really capable of making. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

[dharmalady]

"Perfect," she decides with a hum, just watching him move around their kitchen.

"First thing you ever made for me," she says softly, her smile a little wider now.

[complexguy]

"'Bout the only thing I can make," he smirks a little at her over his shoulder. But he'll make the best damn sandwich for her that he can. Smothering both sides of bread with peanut butter, he layers some jelly between them, and then sets it down in front of her. He's got some peanut butter on his thumb, so he licks it off and smiles at her.

"Hope ya like it, baby."

[dharmalady]

"Mhmm, thank you," she murmurs, taking a bite and humming again appreciatively.

Juliet eats slowly, but she reaches out to rest her hand over his, looking up at him.

"You're making all of this bearable, you know."

[complexguy]

He covers her hand for a moment. "Givin' me too much credit, Blondie."

[dharmalady]

"James, when I--" Juliet pauses, thumb stroking the inside of his wrist.

"I'm not ready for this to be over," she says, voice breaking just a little as she looks down for a moment.

[complexguy]

"I ain't either. But sometimes we don't get a choice in the matter," he notes darkly, a frown on his face. His eyes focus on her thumb moving over his wrist for now.

[dharmalady]

"No," she acknowledges, tugging at his hand and pressing it over her chest, over her heartbeat.

"But you feel that? I'm here, right now with you. I'm alive and I'm with you," she says quietly.

[complexguy]

"That a promise you can keep?" He asks her as his jaw tenses a little; as the question leaves his lips, he knows it's an unfair one to even ask.

[dharmalady]

"That I'm not going anyone right now? Yeah, James. I can promise that," she says softly, looking up at him.

"You think I don't worry every time I know you're going out into the jungle? So, can you promise?"

[complexguy]

Right now isn't good enough, but it's all she can give him and he knows that logically.

"Don't like this feelin', Juliet. I just got ya."

[dharmalady]

She's quiet for a few moments, suddenly unsure, looking down, away from his face.

"Do you--" she pauses then starts again. "Do you dislike it enough to..." She can't even bring herself to say it, because she doesn't want it to be what he wants.

[complexguy]

"To let you go?" He fills in the blanks quietly. "No damn way, Juliet."

The fear of losing her is such a terrifying sensation, and it's something he's never experienced in his life. But he can't imagine not having her at all.

[dharmalady]

The relief that floods through her makes Juliet close her eyes for a second.

"If I asked you to just hold me in bed, would you be willing to do that?" she asks, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be in his arms, to be reassured that he won't let her go.

[complexguy]

"Juliet, there ain't a thing you could ask of me I wouldn't give."

He'd taken so much from people in his life, and so rarely given anything of himself. Yet, every time he even so much as looks at Juliet, all he wants to do is relinquish a small piece of his heart until eventually, she'll have all of him nestled in the roots of her own soul. He trusts her that much. So, she could ask anything of him and he would give it gladly. Holding her in bed is the easiest thing he's ever done.

[dharmalady]

She knows that's true. The look in his eyes is the most intense he's ever been, the most sincere. Finishing her sandwich quietly, Juliet lets him help her down the hall to the bedroom. His is first, and so it's where they've been, Juliet not having slept in her own bed since that day they swam.

Carefully, she settles in the crook of his arm on her back, closing her eyes and letting out a soft breath. She isn't particularly tired, and she's not in so much pain that she needs immediate relief. She just needs this. But now that they're settled, she turns her head to look at him.

"I would never ask you for anything impossible. I can't think of anything I need from you other than you. This. You're a pretty incredible boyfriend, you know," she says lightly, though she's serious.

[complexguy]

James doesn't even think much of it now; this is their bed, not his. He's gotten so used to sleeping right next to her, it could never be any other way.

It's hard to explain to her how much it means to hear that from her, but as he turns a little more on his side to face her, he smiles and kisses her softly. "Learned everything I know from Charles Ingalls," he has to joke a little, making it easier to accept what she's saying.

[dharmalady]

Juliet's face softens into something she doesn't even know how to describe, but it's so full of love, open and honest as she looks at him.

"I didn't know that about you," she says softly. She had no idea he liked Little House on the Prairie, and it warms her to her core. She smiles softly, capturing his lips with her own in a soft kiss.

"Well. If you're Charles, then that makes me Caroline," she hums, never minding the fact that they've just compared themselves to a beloved (real) married couple.

[complexguy]

He doesn't miss what she's implying by saying that, and he doesn't try to dodge it either. Kissing her again, he smiles against her lips. "If you're gonna be Caroline, I'm expectin' home cooked meals everyday when I get home." He's teasing, of course, and it's obvious in his eyes, one thumb reaching out to stroke across her cheek.

[dharmalady]

"Long as you don't expect baked goods. Disaster, remember?" she asks with a smile, rolling with it, turning her head just enough to kiss his palm.

"I'm happy, James. Did you know that?"

What happened the day before aside.

[complexguy]

"Kinda figured, with that dreamy look in your eyes," he teases her a little, but there's nothing but love in his eyes when he looks at her. Then, he simply has to kiss her again tenderly.

[dharmalady]

Capturing his lips with her own, Juliet hums into his mouth. It takes about a week, but she can finally walk around again, and it's laying down that's worse. That's why, two weeks later, she's walking to the security station at two in the morning while he works an overnight.

She knows his break is soon, and she has good sandwiches (something she can do) full of meat and cheese, and beer (because this is the 70s and things are way looser than they ought to be) and they have all the picnic tables to themselves.

Knocking on the metal door, she gives the camera a little smile and wave, waiting to be let in.

[complexguy]

It's been a quiet night, thankfully, and James is quietly reading a book while keeping a close eye on the monitors. Nothing seems off, everything peaceful tonight. But he's more than happy when there's a knock on the door and he sees that it's Juliet.

When he goes to open the door, he leans against it for a moment, just smiling at her.

"Hey there, good lookin'. That for me?"

[dharmalady]

"Actually, I'm on my way to Phil's, just thought I'd stop off and say hello," she teases.

It's still so easy, what they have, what this is between them.

"Need me to wait for a while until you're ready?" she offers.

[complexguy]

"No way in hell, I'm starvin'. Phil ain't gettin' any piece of this," he grins back at her. Then he leans in to kiss her deeply. "What are you doin' up so late?"