★ but I'm going to be okay as long as you're beside me along the way

[complexguy]

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[complexguy]

He's moved around a little since she fell asleep, but mostly stayed right there with her. He'd gently pulled her legs into his lap, quietly reading while she slept. So when she wakes up, he's still right there, and immediately reaches for her hand.

"Hey, darlin'."

[dharmalady]

"Gimmie a kiss and call me sweetheart," she murmurs, opening her eyes and smiling at him sleepily.

"Then feed me, please."

[complexguy]

"You like that better?" He smiles a little back at her before shifting to lean in and kiss her. "How you feelin', sweetheart?"

[dharmalady]

"I like everything you call me," she breathes out, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

"I feel...sore, and like I can't catch a full breath. That'll fade as I feel up," she promises.

"Help me up?"

[complexguy]

"Should you really be sittin' up?" She would know better than him, he's just worried about everything when it comes to her right now.

[dharmalady]

"Just to go to the bathroom and eat. Then I'll lay back down," she promises him.

"I'll take it easy, James. I'd like to think I'm a pretty good patient."

[complexguy]

"Alright, I'm holdin' you to that." He slowly helps her sit up, wrapping a firm arm around her waist to guide her to the bathroom slowly.

[dharmalady]

She's fine on her own from there, and when she comes back into the living room, she slowly sits down at their dining room table, not having to bend as much as she would to get back down on the couch.

"What's on the menu?" she asks, smiling thinly.

[complexguy]

"Let's see, we got..." He looks through the fridge, then the cabinet, sizing up what he's really capable of making. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

[dharmalady]

"Perfect," she decides with a hum, just watching him move around their kitchen.

"First thing you ever made for me," she says softly, her smile a little wider now.

[complexguy]

"'Bout the only thing I can make," he smirks a little at her over his shoulder. But he'll make the best damn sandwich for her that he can. Smothering both sides of bread with peanut butter, he layers some jelly between them, and then sets it down in front of her. He's got some peanut butter on his thumb, so he licks it off and smiles at her.

"Hope ya like it, baby."

[dharmalady]

"Mhmm, thank you," she murmurs, taking a bite and humming again appreciatively.

Juliet eats slowly, but she reaches out to rest her hand over his, looking up at him.

"You're making all of this bearable, you know."

[complexguy]

He covers her hand for a moment. "Givin' me too much credit, Blondie."

[dharmalady]

"James, when I--" Juliet pauses, thumb stroking the inside of his wrist.

"I'm not ready for this to be over," she says, voice breaking just a little as she looks down for a moment.

[complexguy]

"I ain't either. But sometimes we don't get a choice in the matter," he notes darkly, a frown on his face. His eyes focus on her thumb moving over his wrist for now.

[dharmalady]

"No," she acknowledges, tugging at his hand and pressing it over her chest, over her heartbeat.

"But you feel that? I'm here, right now with you. I'm alive and I'm with you," she says quietly.

[complexguy]

"That a promise you can keep?" He asks her as his jaw tenses a little; as the question leaves his lips, he knows it's an unfair one to even ask.

[dharmalady]

"That I'm not going anyone right now? Yeah, James. I can promise that," she says softly, looking up at him.

"You think I don't worry every time I know you're going out into the jungle? So, can you promise?"

[complexguy]

Right now isn't good enough, but it's all she can give him and he knows that logically.

"Don't like this feelin', Juliet. I just got ya."

[dharmalady]

She's quiet for a few moments, suddenly unsure, looking down, away from his face.

"Do you--" she pauses then starts again. "Do you dislike it enough to..." She can't even bring herself to say it, because she doesn't want it to be what he wants.

[complexguy]

"To let you go?" He fills in the blanks quietly. "No damn way, Juliet."

The fear of losing her is such a terrifying sensation, and it's something he's never experienced in his life. But he can't imagine not having her at all.

[dharmalady]

The relief that floods through her makes Juliet close her eyes for a second.

"If I asked you to just hold me in bed, would you be willing to do that?" she asks, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be in his arms, to be reassured that he won't let her go.

[complexguy]

"Juliet, there ain't a thing you could ask of me I wouldn't give."

He'd taken so much from people in his life, and so rarely given anything of himself. Yet, every time he even so much as looks at Juliet, all he wants to do is relinquish a small piece of his heart until eventually, she'll have all of him nestled in the roots of her own soul. He trusts her that much. So, she could ask anything of him and he would give it gladly. Holding her in bed is the easiest thing he's ever done.

[dharmalady]

She knows that's true. The look in his eyes is the most intense he's ever been, the most sincere. Finishing her sandwich quietly, Juliet lets him help her down the hall to the bedroom. His is first, and so it's where they've been, Juliet not having slept in her own bed since that day they swam.

Carefully, she settles in the crook of his arm on her back, closing her eyes and letting out a soft breath. She isn't particularly tired, and she's not in so much pain that she needs immediate relief. She just needs this. But now that they're settled, she turns her head to look at him.

"I would never ask you for anything impossible. I can't think of anything I need from you other than you. This. You're a pretty incredible boyfriend, you know," she says lightly, though she's serious.

[complexguy]

James doesn't even think much of it now; this is their bed, not his. He's gotten so used to sleeping right next to her, it could never be any other way.

It's hard to explain to her how much it means to hear that from her, but as he turns a little more on his side to face her, he smiles and kisses her softly. "Learned everything I know from Charles Ingalls," he has to joke a little, making it easier to accept what she's saying.