complexguy | ★ but I'm going to be okay as long as you're beside me along the way

"I ain't good with words like some people. I can only tell ya what I see. And what I see-" He steps a little closer, looking down for a moment before raising his head again.

"I see someone who came here 'cause she thought she could help people. She stayed so she could help her sister. She gave up goin' to Michigan to help her sick ma. When some goddamned flaming arrows were rainin' down around us, she was stoppin' to help people. And when she coulda got off this island, this woman whose heart's too big for her own good, she stuck around for a guy who didn't deserve it. So how do I know? I know you're better than 'cause that's who you are, Juliet. You never stop helpin' anyone, and you been shit on for it all your life. Ain't gonna let that happen again."

She's dumbstruck by his words, unable to say anything as she looks up at him, nothing but shock on her face. Never has anyone said anything like this to her before and her first thought actually makes it past her lips.

"How could you not possibly see how good you are?"

But then, it's as if her thoughts and his words catch up to her and she sways against him until she's pressing against his chest, crying softly as her arms wind around his middle tightly.

He can't think of how to respond, because his own self-loathing is hard to talk about sometimes. But he wraps her up in his arms when she reaches for him, and he just holds her securely, with one hand on the back of her head.

This feels so nice that she doesn't want to pull away; just being held again is an incredible feeling, a sensation she had no idea she was starved for.

She does eventually pull back though, wiping at her eyes and sniffling.

"Thank you. Thank you for saying that, James." He has no idea how much that meant to her, how much it always will.

He honestly didn't know that just the act of holding someone, holding her, could feel so good. Down to his soul; down to the depths of a soul he didn't think he had once.

When she pulls back, he gives her a little smile. "See ya in the mornin', Blondie."

"Night, James," she says with a soft smile, disappearing into her room. She sits quietly for a while on her bed after undressing and changing into pajamas.

She's never been looked after before, cared for, and she knows this is where she's supposed to be now. And she cries, not because she's sad, but because finally, after three years, she's letting go of Rachel and Julian. She's never getting back, but maybe, finally, the idea of it doesn't leave her feeling aching and hollow. She falls asleep, thinking about James.

Their routine is easy and comfortable, falling into a quiet routine of working around one another's schedules. They still go out into the jungle, but now it's in their own spare time. She never stops thinking about the way he makes her feel and the way she leans into his touches now.

Somehow she finds out he really likes the DHARMA waffle mix, so she wakes up early on their Saturday off, and standing barefoot in the kitchen in shorts and a white t-shirt, she makes the waffles with bacon, brews some coffee, and just waits for him to wake up while she sits at the table, just drinking coffee for now while reading a book.

James finally shuffles out about thirty minutes later, a sleepy smile on his face as he sweeps his hair back from his eyes.

"Well, hey there, starshine," he breathes out, inhaling the aroma of coffee. "Smells good in here."

As he steps further in the kitchen, seeing the spread of food, his eyes widen. "You made those waffles I like? Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm damn grateful."

She smiles at him when he walks in.

"Hey, you," she says softly, contently. "I ordered a box of the mix. I've never seen such a fan of waffles," Juliet teases lightly before--without thinking about it--getting up and pouring him a cup of coffee and handing it over to him.

It feels second nature, easy to do, normalcy she's been craving.

She ordered a box, specifically to make waffles for him, and he doesn't even know how to fully process what he's feeling right now. It's more than he's ever felt before for anyone, he knows that.

Tipping his head to her in thanks, he takes the coffee with a smile.

"Hope you ate a few before I woke up, 'cause you ain't gettin' any now," he teases back.

"I had three. Or four," she says primly, sitting back down with one leg curled under her body.

"Did you wanna go out looking today?"

"I wanna go out today, but..." He puts together a plate and sits down with her, sipping at his coffee. "Think I wanna do somethin' a little different."

"Yeah?" she asks curiously, apparently up for anything.

"What'd you have in mind?" And she does indeed snag a piece of bacon off his plate, taking a bite triumphantly.

"Hey! Get your own," he laughs softly, though, when she steals some bacon. It's easy with her, just teasing and having fun.

Taking another sip of coffee, he gives it some thought. "Been damn warm lately." Everyday, really. "Thinkin' we go out to the dock, take a little swim."

Juliet raises an eyebrow.

"Swimming, huh?" She hasn't been in a while, not for fun, and she's quiet for a second, thinking about it. And then she smiles with a shrug.

"Sounds like fun. We could make a day of it."

"Should we invite Miles and Jin or let 'em fend for themselves?" He takes a few more bites of his waffle, humming a little. "These waffles could stand up against any from a fancy restaurant. I'd choose these every time."

"Just us since, you know. No bathing suits."

Which means she's perfectly willing for him to see her naked. She bites off a piece of bacon innocently, watching his face with her Other mask on.

Sometimes, it's a good ability to have.

He happens to be swallowing a sip of coffee when she comments, and he chokes a little at the back of his throat. But then he clears it, coughing and letting out a breath before smiling broadly.

"Well, I'd planned on wearin' my boxers, but alright then, sweetheart."

Her expression is what gets to him the most, and he wants to just keep flirting with her.

Juliet's pretty damn pleased with herself, and she finishes her coffee, hiding a smirk.

"You finish your breakfast. I'll be right back."

She gets up and disappears into the bathroom, doing the fastest job of shaving her legs she's ever done, then pulls her hair up into a high, messy bun before slipping into khaki shorts. She leaves the tank top and then slips on shoes, walking back out and sitting on the table right beside him.

"Ready when you are."

She breaks off another piece of whatever bacon's left, smiling innocently.

He honestly can't believe he's this lucky, that she's openly flirting with him right now, and he leans back with a broad smile, just looking up at her and letting his eyes rake over her entire body.

"Lookin' forward to you takin' all this off, Blondie." As he speaks, his hand briefly moves over her kneecap.

He winks at her, then stands up, leaving her with that little bombshell as he walks to the door.

Christ, she feels like she's in high school again, nervous, excited, unsure of what's going to happen but going with the flow of things.

She leaves with him, heading down to a quiet, secluded place to swim. The entire time, she's eager for an excuse for him to touch her again.

"You first," she says with an eyebrow arch.

He doesn't know what's happening, he's never felt like this before, but he just knows he wants this feeling to last as long as possible. Maybe she'll figure out, eventually, that he's not worth it, but he feels so incredible with her, and he wants her to feel that way with him, too.

When they get to the water, he smiles over at her.

"Ah, now, come on, sweetheart, ain't I earned it to watch you first?"

Juliet contemplates him for a second, then after another beat, she pulls off her tanktop, braless underneath.

She drops it to the ground, her eyes on his and not wavering.

He's completely stunned, and he's pretty sure he completely blacked out for a moment. His eyes rake over her body so appreciatively, and all he wants to do is touch every inch of her skin.

"Sweetheart..." He lets out a breath, stepping forward. "Goddamn are you beautiful."

She didn't realize she was holding her breath, and when he steps closer, her lips part in an exhale.

That's all it takes, words, and she flushes, nipples tightening without being touched. It's him. It's just James.

Swallowing, she watches him, waiting for the moment he'll reach out and touch, almost tense with anticipation.

"Am I?" she asks softly, knowing it means everything that he thinks so.

"In my whole life, Juliet, I never wanted anyone like I do right now." There's a moment where he hears himself, and he can so easily hear these words being the same words he'd employ in a con, trying to manipulate and charm. He knows how it must sound, but he hopes like hell that she knows he's being serious, he's authentic, and he's completely in awe as he looks at her.

He doesn't know where to touch first, and he wants to cradle her breasts in his hands. But what he wants more than anything is to kiss her, for her to know how much all of this means, how much she means to him.

So his hands come to rest against her hips, and he leans in close, hesitating only for a moment before he presses his lips to hers.

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